Kitty Dagger, 1982-2011
My best friend would have turned thirty today, but she died on December 23rd. She was visiting her boyfriend in Pennsylvania, then quit breathing and collapsed and the paramedics couldn’t revive her. We were closer than I think either of us has ever been with anyone else. I told her things that no one else knows about me. She was also more trouble than any other friend I’ve ever had and cost me a lot of stress and a few thousand dollars, but she was worth it.
This has been a difficult time for me. I know that she’s just gone. Everything she knew died with her except what she told me and her other friends. She isn’t looking down on me and I won’t see her again, pleasant pablum at the funeral aside. She won’t see me graduate in a few months. She won’t see the music video my rats starred in. She’ll never meet Heina or any of my other friends she didn’t already meet. She can’t laugh at any of the stupid things Rush Limbaugh or Rick Santorum said lately.
I wanted her help so much the past few days. One of her friends went off her anti-psychotics meds and thought Kitty was poisoned and now the same people are trying to poison her. The list of suspects keeps growing and includes ex-boyfriends, hospitals, grocery chains and the Irish. I tried to convince her to go to the hospital with me so they could get her stabilized, but I couldn’t get anywhere. I think if Kitty were still here, we could have done it. She was always good at handling this sort of thing. Now, I can’t get a hold of her and I don’t know what to do.
I miss her so much. I wish she were here with me now. I don’t know many people who can help with this. My Mom is sympathetic, but she’s also a Christian. She’s surprisingly avoided pushing it on me, beliefs are so different she’s only so much help. I’m too down to really do her justice today, but plan to write more about her later.